Dirty Little Secret
by introvertedextrovert
Summary: Karofsky & Kurt. How far will David Karofsky go to protect his Dirty Little Secret? My first ever fan-fic. Rated M. Reviews please? :


No one would have ever suspected David Karofsky was gay. He wasn't flamboyant, he was butch. He didn't dress in designer gear; it was jeans, a top and his letterman jacket for him every day. He went out of his way to bully Kurt Hummel, an openly gay student at his high school, McKinley. In fact, David did such a good job of acting like a typical homophobe, that he even convinced himself. And this was where majorly differed from other gays. He had only found the year before, that he was, as he crudely called Kurt, a _fag_.

It all started at a party last year at one of the cheerleaders, Jenna's, house.

The party had been like any other party at the start. Drinking, making out, truth or dare. But everything changed when another cheerleader, Sarah, came up to him. She was extremely drunk. 'Daaaavid' she slurred, 'Come here baby' and she grabbed his face with her hands and started to kiss him. It was the most disgusting thing he had ever experienced. It was sloppy, and he could taste whiskey and her breath was rancid. He tried to push her away, but she kept leaning back in.

Suddenly, she grabbed his hand and started to lead him upstairs. She whispered to him, in what she thought was a seductive tone, 'I want you soo bad'. She pulled him into a room, and slammed the door. 'I wanna fuck you so much' she said, and took off her top and skirt. David wasn't enjoying it at all. He was uncomfortable, and he was kinda shocked at how desperate she was. He felt that it would be taking advantage of her, to sleep with her. 'Sarah' he said, 'are sure you wanna do this?' You're drunk, you're gonna regret this'.

'Nuh-uh, I've been waiting all night for this.' And then, she pushed him on to the bed and started to undress. He still felt uncomfortable. And, suddenly her hands were on him, and she was touching, stroking him. He knew he should be enjoying this, but he wasn't _excited_ at all. 'Dave' she moaned, ' I want you inside me'. And even though he didn't want to, he started to fuck her.

It was nothing special. It was a drunken fumble, that would be forgotten the next day, and Dave didn't even want to do it. 'If this is what sex is,' he thought, 'Then I don't get what the big deal is, I'm not even enjoying myself.' Then his mind started to wander.

_Tight black pants, a messenger bag, perfectly styled hair. The most amazing bright blue eyes._

**Kurt.**

'What?' asked Sarah.

Oh God no. Had he really just said a boy's name, during sex? And not just any boy, Kurt Hummel's name, the schools only name.

'You said someone's name. Kurt.' And then she bolted upright.

**'Kurt'**

Oh my God. You're a faggot.'

Dave didn't know what came over him, but suddenly, he was grabbing her by the jaw, and shoving her against a wall. He could see the fear in her eyes.

'Listen to me you little whore.' There was a malicious tone to his voice. I'm not gay. I'm 100% straight. And if I ever hear you saying that I am, I will _kill_ you.'

And with that, he dressed himself, went back downstairs, and left the terrified girl sobbing in the room.

Sarah transferred later that year, out of fear of his threat. However ashamed he felt, David was also glad. No one was ever going to find out his dirty little secret. As far as everyone else was concerned, David Karofsky was definitely not a faggot.

So that was how Karofsky found out he definitely was gay. His world was completely turned upside down. After all the years he had spent bullying gay kids, being the biggest homophobe ever walk through McKinley's doors, he was now one of them. It made him sick. He hated himself.

Of course, the idea wasn't completely new to him. There had been times in the locker room, after football practise, in the showers, when he had caught himself staring at other boy's …. _things_. But that was only natural, right? He was just curious. He wasn't gay. No way. Not him.

But there were other things as well. That little feeling he'd get in stomach when he was talking to other boys, constantly wanting to touch them, just so he could feel them, what they were like. How he got annoyed when they would talk about girls.

The biggest indication, however, had been Kurt Hummel.

He hated that boy. His over the top clothes, his hair, his voice, the way he was so out-and-proud. But all these things made him adore Kurt as well.

No-one was ever going pull him out of the closet though. So he had to make do with adoring Kurt from a distance, while still bullying him, so the other guys wouldn't notice anything, and hooking up with trashy, slutty girls, again, so no-one would find him out. He hated his life.

This was another reason why he hated Kurt Hummel l. If he hadn't known him, none of this would have happened. It was his entire fault. He made him gay. _And he was going to pay for it_.

* * *

><p>David went out of his way to bully Kurt. He slushied him, pushed him into lockers, pushed him to the ground, knocked his books out of his hands, hid his clothes after gym. Just little things, nothing big that would get him in trouble.<p>

He could see how he was affecting Kurt and it thrilled him. If he was going to be gay, Kurt was gonna get bullied. That's the way it worked.

But it wasn't enough. He could see that Kurt was getting angrier, and with that he was gaining inner strength. He might even stand up to him, and there was no way that was gonna happen.

So Dave stepped up the bullying. Before, he had just pushed Kurt into lockers. Now, he was grabbing him by the collar and slamming him into them. Instead of just hiding his clothes after gym, he was burning them. He picked his locker, and stole all his books, and Kurt got detention because he couldn't do his homework. Every time he passed him in the halls he called him a faggot, and it caught on. He had the whole school , except the Glee club, calling him Lady. But Kurt still didn't break, he remained strong, and this infuriated David.

He was the top dog at the school, he was butch, he was the leader of the jocks, and he couldn't even get a little gay kid like Kurt to cry?

He was going to do something about this.

He waited after school one day, he knew Kurt waited a while as well. He waited until he was sure that it was only himself and Kurt left in the building, and he went to find him.

He was at his locker, looking as gorgeous as ever, in a white shirt with a blue sweater, and _those_ tight pants he was so fond of.

'Stop it' he thought to himself, 'Stop looking at Kurt's ass, you don't fancy him, **you're not gay**.'

Kurt noticed him standing in the hallway then. 'I'm sorry,' he said, 'Can I help you with something? Like, how to dress properly, how not to be so stupid, how to have a bit of manners? How to shower, 'cos you stink. Or, most importantly, how not to be such an arrogant dickhead!' Kurt was shouting at him now, and Dave wasn't going to accept that.

Before Kurt even knew what was happening, David was grabbing him by the shirt and slamming him into the lockers.

'_Get off me you fucking Neanderthal_'

'No, I'm going to teach you a fucking lesson. You need to stop thinking you're so great, and that you and your pathetic glee clubbers can stand up to me. You're going to learn to have some respect for me. And you're going to stop being such a _fucking fag_. And if you don't, it's gonna get a lot worse than this.'

Karosfky grabbed Kurt by the head and kept slamming it into the lockers until he saw blood. He kicked him in the balls, and when Kurt fell to the ground, he kicked him over and over again in the stomach. He was sure he heard a rib crack. Kurt was screaming and begging him to stop. But he wouldn't. He was completely controlled by his rage. He blocked out Kurt's screams and continued on. He kept kicking and puching him, anything that would hurt Kurt, and would help him let out all the pent-up anger and frustration he had been feeling. To his surprise, he found himself crying.

He shouted at Kurt with each smack and kick.

'This is all your fucking fault'

_Punch_

'If you weren't such a fucking woman'

_Kick_

'I wouldn't be the way I am'

_Punch_

'YOU did this to me, you made me gay, and now you're going to deal with the consequences.' And with that, he delivered the last blow to Kurt's head. His screams stopped then.

'Kurt?'

'Kurt why aren't you saying something?'

'Say something.'

'Fucking say something, Kurt'

'ANSWER ME!' He was shouting now, and shaking Kurt, trying to get an answer out of him.

That's when he noticed what a bad state Kurt was in. He couldn't believe what damaged he had caused. There was a pool of blood around his head. There was more blood seeping out of his sweater. '_His ribs_,' David thought. One of his arms was at a weird angle, most likely broken.

And his face. Oh god, his face. His nose was pumping blood, and it was smashed. His lips were cut, and he could already see bruises forming on his cheeks, forehead and around his eyes. 'What the fuck have I done? He was so fucking beautiful, and now, now, he's … he's ruined. I destroyed him.'

Dave started to cry them. Angry hot tears were pouring uncontrollably down his face. He had never felt so disgusting in his life.

'Kurt, please Kurt, answer me, please.' He was holding him in his arms now, and still crying.

'Please Kurt, wake up. I never wanted this to happen. I don't know why I did it. I'm so sorry Kurt.'

'Kurt, I'll do anything, just answer me.' There was no reply.

'Kurt I FUCKING LOVE YOU. Please, for me, just wake up. I'll never bully you again, I'll protect you against everyone else. I'll, I'll ….. I'll even come out. To everyone. Just please WAKE UP!'

He was bawling now, and shouting and screaming, anything to wake him up.

There was still no answer.

He laid Kurt back down on the floor, and took his phone out of his pocket. He dialled 999.

There was a desperate tone to his voice.

'Ambulance, please, you have to get here. Now. McKinley High School. There's this boy, and ,and I think, …. I think he's dead.' He burst out crying again then, sobs racking his body. He felt sick to the core.

'_We're on our way sir, as quickly as we can'_

'I, I- I …' His voice was shaking as he whispered into the phone,

'I never meant to kill him.'

* * *

><p>When the ambulance arrived, they found Dave, cradling Kurt in his arms, still crying, and whispering 'Please Kurt, I love you so much, please wake up'<p>

It was heartbreaking watching them. A strong, butch, footballer cradling a tall, thin, obviously gay, boy in his arms and sobbing. One of the ambulance crew started to cry as well. They got into action then, before they all started to break down. They practically had to tear Kurt from Dave's arms, and put him on a stretcher, and brought him to the hospital. One woman stayed behind with David.

'So what's your name?'

'Dave. David. David Karofsky.' He replied through his tears.

'Okay Dave, are you going to tell me what happened here. You don't have to tell me straight away, take some time to calm down, you're okay David, everything's okay, just relax.'

He began to speak then, but his voice was still shaking. 'I stayed behind. I waited for him. And then I saw him and he shouted at me, and I just got so angry and I, I …. I-' He was howling now, he was so shaken and upset.

'You what Dave?'

'I, I … I did this to him. I love him so much, and he fucking hates me, and I was so angry, and then I just started to hit him and I couldn't stop and he was screaming and then he stopped, and-'

'You're going to have to slow down, just relax Dave, it's okay, everything will be okay.'

'HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? NOTHING'S GOING TO BE OKAY. KURT'S DEAD. DEAD. AND I KILLED HIM'

'Kurt's not dead.'

That stopped him in his tracks. 'What? What do you mean?' She could hear the tiniest flicker of hope in his voice.

'He's not dead, he's severely injured, and unconscious. But not dead.'

Karofsky stood up then, and began to run towards to the main doors.' She chased after him. 'Where are you going?'

'I have to go to the hospital, I have to find him, I have to explain-'

'Listen to me, even if you do find him, he's unconscious, he won't hear your explanation. And there's no way the doctors and nurses would let you in. And Dave, I'm sorry to say this, but there's another reason you have to stay here …. The police are coming. I'm sorry'

_The cops._ He had forgotten about that. He had been so wrapped up in waking Kurt, he'd forgotten that he'd nearly killed him. Of course the cops would come. He was a murderer. He was gonna get what was coming to him.

And he wasn't going to accept it. He wasn't going to fight authority, as he usually did. Kurt was in hospital, nearly dead, because of him. He deserved his punishment. He heard the sirens then, and to his surprise, he was indifferent. As long as Kurt was okay, he could face the world.

'David Karofsky?'

'That's me.' His voice was no longer shaking, a sense of calm washed over him.

'We're arresting you for causing Grievous Bodily Harm to another individual-'

'Kurt Hummel.'

'Sorry, boy?'

'Kurt Hummel. That's the 'individuals' name.'

'Ah yes. Causing grievous bodily harm to Kurt Hummel. You have the right to remain silent. You do not have to do or say anything, but it may harm your defense if you don't mention here something you may rely on later in court.' And with that , they secured the handcuffs around his wrists, and led him to the police car.

David was charged with 3 months in juvenile detention for causing Grievous Bodily Harm, as he had not turned 18 yet.

Kurt woke up the day he was charged.

* * *

><p>Kurt miraculously recovered from the attack. He had sustained two broken ribs, a broken arm, and nose. He had two black eyes, was covered in bruises, and had suffered from internal bleeding, which fortunately, the doctors had stopped. He had been in a coma for two weeks.<p>

The day Karofsky had been charged, Kurt had been lying in his hospital bed, watching some irritating, over-dramatic soap opera. Something he would normally love, but he was on an edge that day.

Burt, Carole and Finn stormed into the room. Burt and Finn were furious.

'The fucking bastard'

'Three months in juvy? That's all he gets? Are you kidding me?

'They should lock him up and throw away the key.'

'They should attack him, see how he fucking likes it.'

'Guys calm down,' said Carole, always the voice of reason. 'What's done is done. He's learnt his lesson. He was genuinely sorry about what he had done. There's no point getting angry, and anyways, you're upsetting Kurt.'

They all looked at him then, waiting for him to speak, say what he thought.'

'Carole's right. There's no point in getting angry. He didn't mean it. He's sorry.'

'How would you know? Shouted Finn, 'You've been in a coma for the past fucking two weeks'

'I know, Finn, I'm not stupid. And I know he's sorry.'

'Care to enlighten us? Asked Burt. He was bitter.

_Kurt remembered everything about that afternoon. He may have been unconscious, but he had still heard everything. Everything Karofsky had said. He was sorry, he didn't mean to hurt him, him begging him to wake up. And him admitting he was gay. And admitting he loved him. _

'I can't Dad. I'm sorry. But he didn't mean it. Trust me.'

* * *

><p><strong>3 MONTHS LATER<strong>

Kurt was sitting in glee club, with his friends, waiting for to come. All evidence of the attack was gone. He had moved on. All had been forgiven, and all had been forgotten. Until, and Figgins walked into the room.

'Children,' Figgins said, his accent as strong as ever.

'I hate to say this, but it's been three months since Mr. Hummel's attack, and you all know what that means.'

A hush fell over the room. Kurt felt like he was about to throw up.

'Guys,' said , 'It means Karofsky is back from juvy. He's back in the school today. I'm sorry Kurt.'

'It' okay,' his voice was shaking. ' I mean who am I to deny him his right to education?' He was trying to make a joke, brush it all off, it was in the past, but he couldn't. He had forgiven David, but that didn't mean he wasn't scared that he was back. He was terrified.

The bell rang then, and glee club was over. He raced out of the door, trying to get away from them, and their questions, and he immediately wished he hadn't.

The minute he rushed out the door, he saw him. Karofsky. And he had seen Kurt.

Kurt tried to run away, but he caught up with him.

'Kurt, just give me a chance to explain, please. That's all I want. Please' He looked at Karofsky and all his fear melted away. He looked in his eyes and he could see all the hurt, and sadness and shame, and everything else he was feeling. He didn't hate him. He pitied him.

'Okay. 5 minutes. That's all you're getting.' He led him down the hallway, and into an old classroom, that he knew wasn't used anymore, so there was no chance of interruptions.

He followed Karofsky in the door, and shut and locked it behind him.

'Thank you, Kurt. You don't know how much I need to say this.'

Kurt didn't reply, so Dave took this as his cue to continue.'

'Kurt I am so sorry for what I did. I never meant for that to happen. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just so angry, and I know that's no excuse and that you'll never forgive me, but-'

'I forgive you'

'_What_?'

'I forgive you.'

David was so shocked he couldn't even form an answer.

'You wanna know why?' He nodded.

'Because I know why you did it. I was unconscious, but I heard _everything.'_

Dave's head snapped up. 'Everything?'

'Yes, everything, how sorry you were, you didn't mean to hurt me. And the …. rest.'

'The rest. Fuck.'

There was an awkward atmosphere in the room.

'Yes. That you were gay, you were gonna come out, and that you …. And that you loved me.'

Dave didn't speak.

'Well, do you?'

'Do I what?'

'Do you love me?'

'I, I, I-'

'Yes or no Dave. Do you love me?'

_That was the first time he had ever called him Dave._

'Yes. I do. I really do. But it doesn't matter. It'll never happen. Kurt, I know I said I was ready to come out, but I can't I'm sorry. I can't do it.' There were tears forming in his eyes.

'After everything that's happened, I'm already hated enough at this school, I don't need to give them another reason to hate me.'

'I understand. It's okay. You don't have to apologize. I'm not going to drag you out of the closet, even if I think it for the best.'

'Thank you, Kurt.'

'For what?'

'For understanding.'

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

'Kurt?'

'Yeah Dave?'

'Do you think you could ever love me?'

' No. I'm sorry Dave, but I couldn't. I do like you though, I think we could be friends. Good friends, actually. We're very alike.'

'I don't remember you nearly killing someone.'

Kurt laughed at that. It was music to David's ears. 'No, we're very alike. For one, we're gay.'

'I figured that.'

Another laugh from Kurt.

'We understand each other. We're both frustrated with our sexuality, and how we can't do anything about it, and how hard it's going be for us. I can bet that, you, like me, have stayed up at night, on the brink of tears, wondering why it had to be you. Why you had to be gay, different from everyone else. What had you done wrong, to deserve this.'

'I have.'

'I knew it. And most importantly Dave, we learn our lessons. We forgive and forget, and we accept who we are. Albeit it slowly, but we're getting there'

The boy stayed in the classroom for the rest of the day. Talking, laughing, sharing stories about their experiences and what being gay was like. There was no awkward atmosphere, no hate, no shame.

All had been forgiven and forgotten. They were just two friends, sitting dowm, having a laugh, and finally feeling accepted.


End file.
